A friend: Someone asked me once "Who is Sujesha"...The tone was bit rural types and it sounded like "Who is Su jaisa"...and obviously the answer was no one...And yet another obvious thing was that the listener got baffled..

Lolz.

My tryst with Religion & Atheism

Ever since I can remember, our family has had an inclination towards spirituality, and a belief in God. My dad, though never a regular to temples unlike devout Hindus, always advocated that "God was One". So, irrespective of religion, he did believe in God. Maybe it is more apt to say that he believed in "all gods", and believed that all religions essentially teach the same, and that all religions are a way to reach God, etc, etc, etc, but there I digress.

The point I am trying to bring forth is that my parents, and hence our family, were believers. We had faith in some higher power that had caused our existence. Of course, we didnt find it necessary to visit temples to re-assert our faith in Him, because we also believed that "He was everywhere".

Cut to April 2010, when my dad passed away due to a (multiple?) massive heart attack(s). It was like a bolt of lightening out of the blue (pun unintended). So many hopes, wishes and dreams lay unfulfilled. Try as I may, I could think of no explanation why his end had to be that way. Many "why" questions arose (or threatened to arise but were throttled?) in my mind. But I never spoke them aloud, knowing fully well that "Anything that is born, will die someday." I tried to accept the incident, as just a fact of life. However, a question that soon accompanied was, "So now, what is my belief in God?". I had asked myself that question for the first time, in so many years. I had never before fully weighed that question in my head - it had just been an accepted fact of life for so long. And now, it felt as if my beliefs in God were shaking.

Still struggling to find a mid-way somewhere, an explanation that would make sense, an explanation that could tell once and for all, one way or the other. Perhaps it would make the loss a bit more bearable? But considering that these questions have been eluding philosophers for centuries, I do not know how probable it is, that I would strike gold in this pursuit.

PETITION FOR EQUALITY IN ACCOMMODATION

FOR
POST-GRADUATE MEN AND WOMEN

The Director
IIT Bombay
Mumbai – 400076

Date: July 23, 2010

Subject: Petition against disparity in accommodation for PG boys and
PG girls in our institute.

Dear Sir,

We, the undersigned, seek to bring to your notice that there is an acute disparity between the accommodation facilities extended to PG boys and PG girls in this institute. While male Ph.D. students are being granted a single room on Day 1 of their stay in the institute, female Ph.D. students are still awaiting their chance to get a single room, even in their second year. While male M.Tech/M.Sc students are getting a single room at the end of their first year, female M.Tech/M.Sc students are expected to stay in double rooms till the end of their tenure. Even in the case when M.Tech/M.Sc. students are expected to share a room (for emotional and moral support reasons), they should be expectedly sharing a double room, and not sharing a small single room.

The above facts bring out a pattern of (as yet unacknowledged) discrimination against PG girls. This discrimination, even if unintentional, is causing undue stress on research environment of PG girls and the facilities available to us, like messing facilities, bathrooms and other basic amenities.

The earlier petition that we wrote was addressed to Chairman, HCU, our request being that one of the smaller hostels (say, Tansa or new wing in H-12 or H-14) be released to us. However, nothing concrete has come out of it. We have only been assured that new building construction is set to start soon, and that our accommodation problems may be allieviated in a couple of years.

Our stress is more immediate and we can not wait another 2 years in the hope of new buildings (whose construction has not even commenced in the past whole year). It is our concern that, when male PG students are comfortably nested in single rooms, why should female PG students face such hardships? Any problems that prohibit Tansa/new wing allocation to girls, should be dealt with and resolved, instead of being wished away by abandoning PG girls to adjust with whatever is “available”.

Considering the urgency of the situation, we earnestly request you for an immediate redressal of the grievances of PG girls, and to take a stand on the issue of equal treatment for men and women in Post Graduate programmes in the institute.

Date: 23.07.2010

Yours sincerely,
Undersigned

Need some more time in life. Gimme more!

No more Bhopals. http://www.greenpeace.org/india/stop-another-bhopal

Every obstacle is an opportunity for research.

Prepaid Tales

Today morning, I had a pre-paid talk-time balance of 58 bucks. As luck would have it, the first call I thought of making today morning was to my brother in Australia. I wondered for a moment what would be the current calling rates to Australia and deciding that 58 must surely be more than enough, I proceeded to dial his number.

To my surprise, I was greeted with a message saying, "You have insufficient balance to make this call"! I was bemused. 58 bucks not enough to make an ISD call! In these times! Ok, I decided that I better call my mom and ask her to tell my brother to call me. He had confirmed earlier that he got much cheaper calling rates from there. So I dialed my mom's number.

Horror of horrors, I got the same message again, "Insufficient balance". I was thoroughly miffed at Airtel prepaid's unprofessionalism, as I saw it. A call to my mom should cost only 1 Re., why do they claim I do not have enough balance to even make a local call? Now they will force me to recharge and then only allow me to make any calls. So ran my thoughts...

In my indignation, I decided I wont recharge right away. I reached lab and just when my eyes fell on the date/time on my desktop, a bell rang in my head and it suddenly occurred to me that perhaps the validity of my prepaid card had expired. I checked it and turns out, yeah, that was the case. :) That explained why I was unable to make calls. And that is perfectly fine, however, the misleading error message that greeted me had me all baffled earlier, and led me to jump to the wrong conclusion that these people were out to fleece me. :D

Well, finally I recharged with "lifetime validity" and was able to make calls successfully. Btw, when I checked the expiry date of "lifetime validity", it says Feb 14, 2013. A friend informed me that that was the date of expiry of their license. So, in essence, lifetime validity refers to lifetime of the service provider, and not the lifetime of the human being. That is still acceptable I guess since 3 years is still long enough, and the service providers likely expect to renew their license by that date. But it still begs the question, "why the surprising affinity to Valentine's day...?"

Dont be sad that its over, be glad that it happened.

Dard mein bhi yeh lub muskura jaate hain
Beete lamhe hamein jab bhi yaad aate hain

Chand lamhat ke waaste hi sahi
Muskura kar mili thi mujhe zindagi
Teri aagosh mein din thhe mere kate
Teri baahon mein thhi meri raatein katin
Aaj bhi jab woh manzar nazar aate hain
Dil ki veeranion ko mita jaate hain
Dard mein.. beete lamhe..

Perspectives rule the world! If you keep putting yourself in others shoes, you might forget how to wear your own.

Drown yourself in sorrow, or drown yourself in work. Either way, drown you must.

Robber (to engrossed comp engineer): This is a hold-up. Give me all your cash.
Running comp engineer (to a bemused robber): Cache me if you can.

Fan fixed finally!

Taking each day as it comes..

Not questioning life, coz there are no answers to be had..

Waiting for inspiration to strike!

I remember attending the RS welcome session here. Professors advised us to look for beauty and originality in our research; that we should settle for a solution only if it is beautiful. I remember wondering at that time, how I would judge the beauty of the solution, how can I be sure whether I am settling on a beautiful solution.

However, a self-realization that is now dawning is that in every task that I do, I do wait for that "beauty" quotient. I dont mean that it will "look" beautiful. But in some way, it will be appealing. And until that appealing idea strikes, I keep waiting for appropriate inspiration. I just hope that it wont be an endless wait sometime. :)

Perception

Busy-ness is what business does

The past few days have been a blur. I think this is typical of even semesters at IITB. Always some engagement or the other, keeps you busy and on your toes, keeps you wishing for a break. But its all enjoyable nevertheless. Sure, it also attracts comments from family like, "Are you sure u are working on Ph.D. there?" B-)

Being more social and more active, makes one feel more alive and confident. That is something I want to capitalize on. So, though I am living on the edge these days, I am trying to make the most of it.. without cribbing.. :-D All I want to say is, "Bring it on!" :-)

Queen of procrastination

Many people have many theories concerning procrastination. Some claim, "I always procrastinate", as if it's in-vogue. Some people talk of using procrastination to at least get some second-rank jobs done and out of the way, because the first-rank jobs will be done anyway when they start piling on top of your head.

This is a great read, talking of "good" and "bad" procrastination. It also draws from You and Your Research by Richard Hamming. My mind does resonate with these thoughts, though sometimes these directives seem to border on the extreme.

However, I seem to be exercising another form of procrastination, completely orthogonal to anything I have read about. I call it the "germination" or "gestation" period. Get an idea, think over it, beat it around a bit and then leave it to germinate. Re-visit later. You can see that every time you re-visit it, you think of something new. On the contrary, if you had finalized it the very first time you thought of it, maybe you wouldn't have hit upon the second or third novel idea that you had later on.

Disclaimer is warranted that this technique probably will not work for geniuses. They probably can and will think everything through on the first try itself. :D

@All the rest: All the best!

Bollywood and medical disorders

KCK pulls in two medical terms to justify what is happening with the protagonist - Schizophrenia and Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD). A little googling reveals that they are not one and the same thing, though many people do confuse the two. Schizophrenia - one is born with it, MPD - born due to abuse. The thought that KCK is confusing them further, is disturbing.

Are the makers of KCK claiming that Karthik was born with Schizophrenia (because of which he saw a "brother") and the abuse by that imaginary brother has caused MPD?! Talk of fiction! Well, the movie never did claim to be a true story after all..

Talking of true stories, while in a BEST bus recently, saw an ad for movie "THANKS MAA". It is apparently about an orphaned/abandoned child. The last line in the ad was "Based on 12.44 million true stories". And ya, that did catch my attention, in a very unsettling way.

Stories based on disorders seems to have caught on in a big way in Bollywood. "Black" was a small beginning, but it really became the trend since "Taare Zameen Par". How about "Ghajini", "Paa" and "MNIK"? And now, "KCK". If these movies intended to bring out the subtleties of the disorders or to generate awareness (as was in TZP), great move. But using them commercially just to create unusual fiction (and maybe more confusion) seems plain wrong.

PS: A fact about MPD -
The fact that you may sometimes be quiet, sometimes gregarious, sometimes "up" or sometimes "down", sometimes patient and other times irritable does not mean that you have multiple personalities.
- Marvin S. Beitner, Ph.D.

Sitting down may be worse for you than you think.
Read this.

Some things are best unsaid.

I've tried to hide it
So that no one knows
But I guesss it shows
When you look into my eyes.

-Backstreet Boys

Uncertain future

Do you try to imagine the future sometimes and realize that you have absolutely zero clue how its gonna pan out? Given a choice, unable to make one, while at the same time realizing that not making a choice at all, is also in a way, a choice by itself?

Maybe this is what they call a mid-life crisis. Or is it? Or was it the quarter-life crisis? How to know for sure that one is doing the right thing at the right time?

I do NOT subscribe to the notion that "The ends justify the means". :-|

Source: www.dilbert.com

You know you are addicted to gmail, when you read a single mail (remember yahoo?) and expect the entire conversation to be above and below it, ordered by date. :-)

Why do I blog?

I do not imagine that many people will read my blog and start seeing things my way. I do not expect that people will read my blog and start understanding me better as a person. This blog is not a live journal. Then why do I blog?

This blog is authentically mine ~\cite{Chavan}. The thoughts are authentically mine. Sometimes putting thoughts to paper helps me release them, lessen the burden of thinking, possibly.

I love the English language; many of my previous posts stand testament to that. But mostly, I just blog because I can. Just because I can..

Extinguishing fires

This is an overview of the fire-fighting demonstration session we had today.

5 types of fires:-
A - ordinary household fire
B - oil, petrol, diesel fire
C - gas fire
D - metal fire (sodium, phosphorous)
E - electrical fire

4 types of fire extinguishers:-
1. water - used for household fires. Once opened, will need to go for re-filling before using again.
2. carbon-dioxide - can be used for all types of fires, generally recommended. Re-usable until exhausted. Just open/close the tap as needed. Remember that the hose will get cold and don't let the noise scare you.
3. dry powder - useful for household fires and open fires. Will last only for 5-6 seconds, so aim well before firing.
4. foam - useful for household fires and open fires. Will last for a minute or so.

The session was refreshing. But will I be able to put it to good use when the time comes? Only time will tell.

Feb 9 - The bad, The good and The beauty

I am sorry to inform you that the submission was not selected by the program committee to appear at XXX 2010.
-Program Chairs

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If I have given you an appointment, you need not take another one from the counter.
-Dentist

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It is O.K.
You may go ahead.
-Dr. K.K.S

Just another sunday

A few years back when I was based out of Pune, we used to travel within the city in these auto-rickshaw lookalikes called "tum-tum". Those were the days when I used to indulge in a spot of blogging called "The tum-tum musings". Ever since I moved out of Pune, I havent been able to do that. However, many a times I have thought that even while traveling in buses, I do engage myself in these so-called musings. So finally, today I decided to blog about my musings for the day, a sunday.

First and foremost, the BEST buses themselves. Thats what I travel in these days; so natural that I observe them a lot. What a transformation they are undergoing these days! Just a few months back, probably all we had were some beaten up, old chassis plying the city. But then they came up with some new AC buses along some select routes. Next, they started upgrading the normal buses too; so we got newer (read redder) buses with plastic individual seats instead of those generic benches, and some green and yellow lines running horizontally along the center.

Ofcourse, advertising and sponsorship caught on a lot during these times. All along the sides and the back, there would be commodity and movie ads, not to forget ads of even the "K" serials! Then sponsorship entered inside the bus, with the seats advertising tuition classes and FM radio shows. Even the hand grips have become transparent plastic so as to enable advertisement!

In the mean time, buses continued to get upgraded. There were red coloured star buses introduced. These are buses with huge windows, and all seats inside are in plain view from the outside. They would have digital displays for the destination names, and automatic door open/close mechanism. Then came some purple coloured star buses. Well, I havent found out whats extra in the purple-coloured variety other than the colour change. But these star buses are still in the luxury variety because the seats are plusher, and the tickets costlier than the normal fare.

And just today, I saw a new BEST "normal" bus with a twist. What was normal about it was that it was the regular red colour with the green and yellow lines. And the twist was that the destination and bus number display was on a scrolling LED display! So the conductor doesnt have to manually scroll the huge black cloth through the signboard anymore. They hopefully just punch in the bus number and the corresponding destination name starts scrolling like a marquee. I know its not that big of a deal, but I did look at it and say, "Wow thats an improvement, I want to take that bus." :D B-)

love this one!

teri kali ankhiyo se
jind meri jaage
dhadkan se tej daudun
sapno se aage

ab jaan lut jaaye
ye jahaan chhut jaaye
sang pyaar rahe
main rahun na rahun

sajda.. tera sajda
din raen karun
nahi chaen karun

Cribbing about nothing

Most often, we vent our frustrations just by cribbing about anything and everything that happens to catch our mind. For some, it is blaming co-workers, and for others, it is blaming the tools. Some may even go so far as to gossip about all and sundry, or by being as profane as humanly possible without turning into stone. At this time, I am reminded of a proverb from school days, "A bad worksman blames his tools". However, here I am not attempting to address those workmen (who probably always blame their tools). Rather I am commenting about those who are stuck in a bad spot and trying to lift their own spirits by engaging in a bit of cribbing.

"Crib session" is an oft-heard word if you ever study a course around here. The first time I heard the term, I took it very literally (I am sure that a few people will point out here that it is meant to be taken literally). In any case, I found the term very amusing when I first came across it. Students were invited by their TAs to crib about their exam papers! That sounded interesting! Ofcourse, it was soon clear that the TAs were not about to offer any sympathy listening; the session was just meant for clarification regarding why you have got so few marks as you have. :P

Apart from the crib session (where on average, you always end up feeling that you have been ripped off by the TA :D), most other cribbing that we indulge in, is almost of no concrete use than to give temporary relief by letting go of the pent-up negative energy. Many a times, you may regret later, that which you had said in a heated cribbing discussion.

Why am I talking about cribbing, all of a sudden? Well today, we lost kho-kho general championship game. And yeah, we have n number of reasons lined up in defence of our courageous yet losing performance. But the fact is, we did lose. All of us keep trying to convince ourselves in vain that we did good, considering this, considering that. But finally, lets face it. We lost, and its done.

Today I realize that even cribbing about it is tiring me out, instead of even remotely lifting my spirits. So eventually, all the cribbing was for nothing.

People talking of urban legends today.. and this comic caught my gaze. Nothing else extraordinary about it.

Another encounter with a snake

Well, this time it was a different snake. It was as long as a tree twig, the same brownish colour and was lying across the hostel gate pathway. I was walking my cycle out of the hostel compound, and I could have almost squished that creature under the tyre. Oh well, not necessarily squish. Maybe it would have lashed back at me with some poison instead and that would have been the end of me.

Anyway, point is, "observant" that I was (refer to the name of this blog :D), I did see the snake crawling its way from one end of the gate to the other. I moved a little away from its apparent direction of motion. A girl behind me, was less observant probably. One, she didnt see me take a detour from my path. Two, she didnt see the snake. So I raised my voice in an attempt to drag her conscious mind to the present, "Hey look!". Her gaze suddenly dropped down and reflexively she jumped back.

I took a few seconds to decide whether this snake incident needs to be reported somewhere, or should I just get on my cycle and ride away. The other girl gave my thoughts some company with her own thoughts probably. Finally, I thought of informing the hostel security guard.

I parked my cycle, rushed back to the security guard and told her, "Hostel gate pe ek saamp hai".
SG: Kaunse gate pe?
Me: Yeh wala, saamne hostel gate (I pointed for emphasis)
SG: "Pump?"
Me: (huh?) "Saamp. Snake."
SG: "Oh, woh jayega naaa".
Me: "Haan jayega", I agreed and I left.
(As I reached my cycle, I again hear the SG. SG has followed me to the gate.)
SG: "Kahan hai?"
By this time, that thing has successfully, and at unexpectedly quick speed, clambered the gate and is trying to enter a hole inside the night lamp on top of the hostel gate.
Me: (I point out) "Woh dekho wahan, upar"
SG: "Oooh"
SG: "Jaane do na usko."

I shrugged my shoulders and pushed out on my cycle. The last I saw when I turned back to look was the SG giving the snake company while it probably tried to find a cosy place to climb into.

How to measure human sensitivity?

Women accuse men of being "insensitive", while men blame women for their "over-sensitivity". Really, how does one measure sensitivity? This epic emotional battle between men and women has been in existence since time immemorial, or atleast since Adam and Eve, whichever came later. Yes, it is an exciting question to ask, the question of "why do you say 'whichever came later'. I do have my theories to back it up, but that would just make me digress from the issue at hand.

The issue is, how does one measure sensitivity? Without a decent measurement tool, how can anyone accuse anyone else of being "less" or "more" sensitive --- less or more than what? Ah, probably it is just something that is measurable by common-sense. But as is commonly said these days, common sense is no longer so common.

Being sensitive makes one get hurt more often, while oneself hurting others not so often. Being insensitive is like emotional blindness, one doesnt see that another is hurt due to one's actions and thus is very much like an armour against the world. So, is it better to be insensitive in this cruel world?

If the world were devoid of sensitivity, maybe the world would be simpler like the men imagine. Or it maybe a much colder place like the women fear. So we (women) tie up our shoelaces and keep marching on into the sensitivity territory, where no man has gone before (pun intended), believing all the while that the men will catch on soon enough.

Given a choice, I would prefer over-sensitivity to insensitivity. After all, "over-sensitivity" may even be tamed down a bit but "insensitivity" could never be replaced by its opposite.

An ode to mothers

Mothers, how do we get along with them? Mothers, how do we get along without them? They can make you pull out your hair, and at the same time, they can also give you a fabulous tel malish so that your hair stays healthy and shiny.

How an hour of restless tossing and turning gives way to instant sleep when your mom keeps a watchful eye on your fever. At the same time, how you start bawling like a kid when your mom says a kind word to you after you have had a strictly obnoxious spat with a stranger.

Were these mothers the same who were merely girls a couple of decades ago? Are the present-day girls the same who will be mothers a couple of decades hence? Is motherhood something that just dawns on you, or do you learn how to be a mother in the 9 months that pass by.

We, non-medico professionals, usually believe doctors to be miracle-workers. He being a doctor is about the biggest reason for us to place our life in his hands for him to do what he feels like with it. In a non-medical way, we believe mothers also to be miracle-workers. "She is a mother, she should know. She is a mother, she would know." Wow! Talk about pressure!

Love you mom! Thanks for all you do.

saari umra hum, mar mar ke jee liye
ek pal toh ab hamein, jeene do jeene do

Give me some sunshine, give me some rain,
Give me another chance, I wanna grow up once again.

Nice song, liked the lyrics.
But my childhood wasn't that regrettable :-)

What makes you tick?

What makes you tick? No, I dont mean "what ticks you off?". That is another topic entirely :D. I mean if you were a clock, what is your battery? What makes it possible for you to move from second to second, or in human terms, from day to day, week to week, or month to month and so on.

What makes you get up everyday, and get to the work at hand? What pushes you on to the next thing to do? Is it your family's joy and comfort, or is it your own? Is it something that you look forward to on the weekend? Is earning your superior's admiration/appreciation your motivation? Are you "living" life or are you simply leading, as they call it, a mundane existence?

Till date, I havent found an answer to the question, "What is the purpose of life?". After witnessing and reading about the various incidents occuring everyday all around us, I have begun to accept the answer that there is no particular purpose after all; just live and let live. However, my heart refuses to quiet down so simply, every so often it raises its thinking cap and pops the same question again. Will enlightenment ever strike me?